Someone famously joked of the famous idea of “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”, that only the pursuit is ever promised us. Life is not always easy. People are complex. Many things affect us that are outside of our control. Especially with our new devices, we are flooded with competing voices bidding for our attention, and offering advice on how to be fitter, happier, more attractive, etc.
From early on in life, we all develop patterns for responding to challenges and stresses, for forming and breaking relationships, for working with others and trying to understand what makes them tick, for communicating and not communicating our viewpoints, and how we feel.
These patterns are useful, and none of us could do for long without them. But sometimes, when the challenges life throws at us change, some of these patterns don’t work as well as they used to: all of a sudden, we find ourselves parenting and raising kids, for example, or dealing with chronic pain, a new job, a toxic workplace, a child who is experiencing difficulties … the list could go on.
At such moments, we can feel like we are losing our way and losing our boundaries, without knowing how we got to where we have arrived, and how we could regain our compass and sense of direction.
Counselling is an opportunity for people facing such challenges to talk to an independent, nonjudgmental listener. It creates a space for clients to be able to become more aware of their patterns, and to identify what we might need to change, so they can respond more effectively to the new things life is presenting.
In counselling sessions, we explore the ways clients are presently thinking, feeling, and acting in response to their life challenges, identifying what might be working, what might not, how, and why. We seek to identify ways of thinking, in particular, that people can fall into which aren’t enabling them to move forwards, but keeping them “stuck” in patterns that are no longer working for them, or working to make them feel unhappy and disconnected from what’s most important.
With that said, counselling isn’t just a diagnostic and negative thing: not at all! The work also involves examining and work-shopping techniques and strategies for responding differently to stressors, as well as reconnecting with what gives clients a sense of strength, meaning, and well-being.
